Saturday, April 14, 2012

I'm one of those 'No Soliciting' mean people houses

So. I live in a neighborhood that is swamped with door to door sales people (and Jehovah's Witnesses), which is strange because if you saw my neighborhood you'd probably lock your doors or quickly look around to see where your children are. It's not the best neighborhood but I love it because the best people live in it.

Anyway, If I were a sales person I would think to go to a neighborhood a bit more affluent and one with less inside furniture outside peoples houses or cars parked on weedy gross lawns (next door to me - just sayin') But still they come in droves: books, home security, newspaper boys (they always get me), bread people, cleaners, super mega vacuums, knives, windows, lawn service, etc.

Usually I would listen to them very politely and then apologize for waisting their time and deliver the painful truth. We have no money... or really extra money to spend on your expensive gadget. Well, I did that for years until I met an incredibly rude sales person. That was the end for me and I wrote my first "No Soliciting" sign.

I always thoughts those NS houses looked cold or someone mean lived there, but now I know the truth. They are actually just doing the sales person a favor by not wasting both of their lives away.

This is the sign I made. It hasn't faded (surprisingly) but it has warped over the years. All though it doesn't keep religious solicitors away it does work on all the others. So if you want to become one of those NS houses but don't want to look white trash or like you belong in my neighborhood to the horror of your HOA -

Angela C. at has your solution. Not only are they incredibly stylish - they are also free! How cool is that. Believe me I will be updating my signage as soon as I buy more white trash ink for my white trash printer.


Gwen, The Vintage Seamstress said...

lol! We have the same problem in the same kind of neighborhood. I had a sign posted and they just ignore it, a couple of said that they didn't understand it. I was thinking of making a sign that says "if you don't know us then get the he** off of our porch or we will let the Jack Rusell out on you." Think that will do any good? lol

Jessica said...

BAHAHAHAHA! Loved this post! I had one guy push through my door and start spraying some cleaner on my carpet! I told him to either quickly leave or I would show him something I owned!

Rachel said...

THank you for posting this! We were having our doorbell rung 4-6 times a week, always during nap time. I have a hand written sign that looks terrible now, I've been meaning to replace it. It keeps everyone away except the cable people, I don't think they understand that by waking my kids I'll never give them my business.

Ashley said...

Why dont you just start speaking in Italian-o to them. Or make them stir the 8 hour home made sauce you are making. Or have them try on your latest apron you have been making. Or have them help get the "sammach" out of Abby's nose. Or have them meet Aries- that would work for sure.

Maren said...

Gwen - we have a bull mast ill and although he is a bit more intimidating than a Jack terrier, some people are just not smart. They just can't get it. I like the idea of your alternative sign. If they don't get it after reading that they kind of need a dog to attack them.
Jessica - that's border scary... pushing his way into your house! What's wrong with some people?
Rachel - why do people thing you'll buy stuff after they piss you off? And waking babies should come with a mandatory jail sentence.
I was thinking if you have a metal door you could put big magnets on the back of the frame this way they would have to see it instead of peaking out a nearby window like she has in the picture. Mine is tied right at eye level to my screen door if they miss it - they need to be slapped,

Sarah said...

Those signs are awful cute, however, I protest to your use of the term "religious solicitors". Mormon's, Jehovah's Witness' and any others who share their faith door to door are not selling anything since they don't ask for money or donations.

Maren said...

Sarah, I didn't mean disrespect to religious solicitors by my comments. I am Mormon and served a mission. I knocked plenty of doors in Italy. Although not every one who comes to my door is selling something - I'm inclined to agree with Gwen in her comments above, "If you don't know us..." I'm a big waste of time to religious solicitors trying to save my souls. I'm good. I just think the sign should indicate everyone who doesn't know you.

Angela said...

Thank you for featuring the signs! :)

Linda Ruthie said...

Nice looking signs. Thanks for sharing.

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